The Maid of Ouran
by Shatteredbutterfly64
Summary: Artemis attends an elite high school called Ouran Academy. She becomes and official member of the Ouran Host Club as well as working at a maid caffe with her sister to make ends meet. OHSHC/Kaichou Wa Maid-sama AU.
1. Introduction

Artemis peered through the huge, dark, wooden doors of the library to see the room completely full with loud teenagers not even trying to be quiet. This had been the third library she'd tried, with the others before getting the same result. All she wanted was a quiet place to study. Was that too much to ask for?

She sighed closing the door and walking down the elegant marble hallway. It had been four years since her mom's death and six years since her father abandoned them. Her older sister, Jade, was forced to step up taking both a job and caring for Artemis. When she was old enough to work, Artemis helped her sister out in getting money by working at the same maid cafe downtown as she did. It wasn't ideal, but it payed and that was all they needed.

Artemis looked out the window to her left, staring out at the school grounds. While the other students were able to waste their time on mingling and having fun, she had to work hard and study to retain her full scholarship to the elite high school she had managed to get into on good grades alone. She just had to find a quiet place to study.

Finally, after wandering through the many halls of Ouran Academy, Artemis was able to find an abandoned music room. Better known as Music Room 3. She had heard rumors about this place, but couldn't seem to remember what they were at the moment. Probably something stupid like ghosts.

When she opened the door, Artemis found the Host Club.

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******AN: So please review. Reviews make me happy.**


	2. Welcome to the Host Club

**AN: Ok ,so, I aged some people up and some down so it would fit better for the story. Also, know that there are going to be A LOT of ships is the story as well as a lot of surprises so enjoy.**

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Once she opened the door a blinding light assaulted her vision and a wind that carried rose petals hit her face. "Welcome." Artemis heard six male voices say in unison. The light vanished and she finally saw the handsome boys. Dressed in a homespun sweater made of maroon yarn, with a white button down underneath, and a black pair of dress pants as opposed to the designer girl uniform that was a yellow dress that made you look like a sponge cake. The other option was a blue blazer with a black tie and black dress pants for the boys of the school. Both uniforms were too expensive for Artemis to afford.

Her blonde hair was cropped short due to an incident earlier in the year before school. And due to her sister's laziness when writing her name for her school application, she was known as Art instead of Artemis and was honestly too lazy to correct people when they called her such. It was in this way that her classmates all believed she was a boy which she really didn't care about anyway.

In front of her, was a small group of boys dressed in the usual Ouran boy uniform. Five of them were standing behind one redhead who was sitting in a chair. They were all handsome, Artemis had to admit.

It was then that it hit her. Her eyes went wide, "...WHAT? A _host club_!" So that was the rumor about this Music Room 3. She'd much prefer dealing with ghosts. At least they'd seem to have some sense, but instead she was stuck facing down six guys who were now looking mostly bored once they realized who she was.

"Oh wow. Its a boy." Two boys commented at the same time. She recognized them from her class. It was Jaime Reyes and Bart Allen. She didn't know much about them, only that they were always around each other. She was almost positive they were best friends or...maybe more.

If Artemis was any where else besides Ouran, she might have taken offense to that. But with her shaggy haircut, baggy clothes, and old glasses she had to use when she lost her contacts, she honestly looked like a guy. Well, a very feminine guy. And she didn't really care that all her classmates saw her as a guy. She thought it was more important to be recognized for the person inside rather than out.

A taller guy with black hair glanced over at the two of them. Jaime, Bart, I believe he's in the same class as you isn't he?" As his head turned back to look at her, parts of his hair fell into his baby blue eyes.

As if on cue, the boys replied in unison yet again. "Yeah, but he's shy and doesn't really talk to people. So, no one really knows anything about him." They even shrugged in unison. If that wasn't creepy, Artemis didn't know what was.

The black haired boy looked at them thoughtfully before changing his gaze to her once more with a knowing look. He let out a short laugh and a small smile. "Well that wasn't very polite." He told them. "Welcome to the Ouran Host Club, Mr. Honor student."

At this, the redhead who had been sitting in the chair before, suddenly popped up looking at her with interest. "What?" He asked regarding her with unabashed curiosity like she was some kind of unique specimen. "You must be Art Crock." Hi voice was laced with awe.

None of them seemed to be too worried with the fact that she was now trying, and failing, to get out of the music room. She stopped and turned around "Um..How do you know my name?" That was even creepier than the perfectly in unison friends.

The black haired boy answered again. "Oh, thats because you've got quite the reputation. Its not everyday a commoner gains entrance into an elite school like Ouran Academy." He looked at her with a cocky smirk. "You must have quite the audacious nerve to get your way into a school like this, Mr. Crock."

She tried not to find a hidden meaning behind that. "Um...thank you, I guess."

Once again the redhead intervened, most likely unknowingly, and strolled up to her, casually putting an arm behind her and placing his hand on her shoulder. "You're welcome. You're like a hero to other poor people, Art. You've shown everybody that you can excel at an amazing school like Ouran, no matter how poor you are."

Her frown deepened as she tried to extract herself from him. He unfortunately followed her continuing his preaching. "It must be tough for you to constantly be looked down upon by the others." He let out a dramatic sigh.

Artemis continued to try and stay away from him. "I think you're taking this poor thing too far." It was starting to irritate her.

"Spurned, neglected." He unfortunately continued. "But it doesn't matter anymore." He slipped his arm behind her again and put his other hand on his chest like her was making a proclamation. "Long live the poor!" Oh god. He was worse than she'd thought. "We welcome you, poor man, to our world," He paused for dramatic effect. "of beauty!" He actually sparkled.

Artemis turned around. There was no way she was dealing with this. "I'm outta here." She stated heading towards the door.

"Heyyy." A rather high pitched and slightly whiny voice came from behind her and some grabbed her arm stopping any further movement. "Come back here, Arty." She looked down to see a very small boy tugging at her arm. He had caramel colored haired and green eyes. He'd be one of those people in the cartoons with flowers always floating around their heads. "You must be like a superhero or something. I've always wanted to be a superhero. Thats so cool."

Artemis frowned again and looked down at the little boy. "I'm not a hero, I'm an honor student. And don't call me Arty." She glowered at him hoping to get the point across. He quickly let go of her arm and ran away. These guys were all idiots.

The redhead, who was standing off to the side, and trying his best to make himself seem high and mighty, or that was what it seemed like to Artemis, decided to change subjects yet again. "Who would have thought that the famous scholar, would be so openly gay."

She looked at him. Was he actually as stupid as he appeared to be. "So openly what?"

He seemed to disregard this question and instead focus at, what he thought to be, the relevant subject. "So what kind of guys are you into?" He strutted over to his group of guys casually showing them off. "The strong silent type, like Conner?" He gestured to to a tall, well muscled guy with black hair and blue eyes who gave her a slight nod of the head.

The redhead continued. "The boy lolita, Garfield?" He pointed to the small boy from before who was now wiping tears from his eyes and holding a stuffed monkey.

How 'bout the mischievous type?" He looked over at Bart and Jaime. Bart was shorter than Jaime with a wiry frame. He had auburn colored hair and light green eyes. Jaime was taller and a little more muscular, but not really. He was Mexican with black hair and brown eyes. Both gave her an evil smirk.

"Or the cool type, Dick?" The redhead nodded over to the boy who had been talking before. She had to admit that he was handsome. Both tall and nicely muscled with the air of relaxed nonchalance. It was obvious, at least to her, that he was very smart. He gave a small smile and the redhead moved on.

Artemis tried to back away from their imposing attitudes, but the redhead only followed her. "Um..I don't really.."

He was on her in a second, suddenly standing very close to her. "Or maybe," He stroked a hand across her cheek and towards her chin, leaning in even closer. "You're into a guy like me. Wally West." He continued stroking her chin and smiled. "What do you say?"

She backed away from him quickly, knocking into a wooden table behind her and turned just in time to see a sky blue vase with intricate designs, fall to the ground and shatter. The creepy friends were there in an instant, luckily talking one at a time. "We were going to feature that renaissance vase in an upcoming auction." Bart told her.

"Great. Now you've done it commoner. The starting price for that vase was supposed to be eighty one thousand dollars." Jaime finished for him.

"EIGHTY ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS! How many hundreds are in a thousand?" She sighed. Just her luck that this would happen. "Uh..I'm gonna have to pay you back." She turned around and watched while Jaime and Bart looked at each other and in shrugged. They were like twins. Way too creepy.

"With what money?" They said together. "You can't even afford a school uniform." They smirked at each other and Artemis frowned at them. It was, unfortunately, true. Jaime smirk turned even more unbearable. "What's with that grubby outfit you got on anyway?" He asked mockingly.

She had been so preoccupied trying to figure out how to pay them back that she didn't even notice Dick behind her. He had bent down and picked up a shard of the broken vase, standing back up and examining it. "Well, what do you think we should do, Wally?"

Artemis knew that if her hands were in the fate of the obnoxious redhead, she was screwed. She looked over at him to see he had sat back down in his chair and looked very happy that Dick had asked him thats. He closed his eyes and smiled smugly, leaning his head against his fist and crossing his legs. "Theres a famous saying that they say, Art. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Since you have no money, you can pay with your body." He opened his eyes and pointed his finger at her. "That means starting tomorrow, you're the Host Club's dog.

…...

When Artemis got home, she fell down on the couch in the living room. Not only did she now owe an eighty one thousand dollar debt, but she also had to be ordered around by those clowns and do exactly as they told her. Luckily, the Host Club only had activities during the school time or else it would interfere with her job. Which she should probably get ready for now.

Artemis stood up and sauntered over to her room. It wasn't that she didn't like her job. Her co-workers were really nice and so were the costumers. But working as a maid in a maid cafe was definitely not her ideal job.

She sighed, packing her bag with her uniform and locking up behind her as she headed to the cafe. In a strange twist of fate that Artemis will never understand, her sister was the manager at the cafe. Jade never did anything. She was even too lazy to write down her whole sister's name when she entered the school. So how it was that she became manager, was beyond her.

When she arrived, she saw Barbara also entering as well. Barbara was another maid who worked at the cafe. She was her age and the pair had become fast friends when Artemis had started working here. Barbara had red hair, almost as bright as Wally's, and beautiful blue eyes.

She smiled as she noticed that her friend was having trouble with the lock on the back door once again. "Need a hand?" She asked seeing Barbara stiffen and turn around. When she realized it was only Artemis she relaxed.

"Geez." She said turning back to the door and trying one last time to get it to open in vain. "Don't sneak up on a girl like that. Especially not one that know karate." She smiled and handed Artemis her keys. "Maybe just a little."

Barbara was in the same boat as Artemis. She lived alone with her father who was a police commissioner in the town over. The rent was pretty high so Barbara had to take up a job to help pay it. Since being a maid was kind of embarrassing, she did everything in her power to keep it a secret. Artemis kept her being a maid a secret due to the fact that students from Ouran weren't allowed to have jobs.

Artemis stepped in front of her and unlocked the door, letting them both in. Megan was there fixing her appearance in the full body mirror hanging on the wall. "Hey Megs!" Artemis called to her and headed towards her locker to get ready.

She heard a little "Oh" and watched as Megan rounded the corner to talk to her. Megan was also her age with auburn hair and green eyes. The more she looked at her, the more she reminded Artemis of Garfield, but she shrugged off that thought as Megan started talking. "So, how was it? Are the people there nice or mean? Are the classes really hard? Is everything really made out of diamonds and gold?"

Artemis smiled answering her questions. "It's really nice there, though everyone thinks I'm a guy. Tell you later. Pretty nice. Not really. And come on Megan, really?" Megan had always been a dreamer, but even that was a little over the top for her.

She smiled and shrugged. "Well you never know." She stood up once they were both ready. "Come on! Lets go work. You can tell me about your first day of school afterwards."

Artemis nodded and stood up. She followed Megan out from behind the curtain that separated the back rooms from the cafe area. As soon as she stepped out from behind it she sensed something off and looked over at the table in the corner.

Sitting there with his eyebrows raised and a look of mild surprise, was a member of the Host Club. Dick Grayson.

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**AN: Mwhahah cliffhanger. So I should be updating this story once a week, I don't know which days yet. So as always please review and tell me what you think and what ships you'd like to see.**


	3. This will not be fun

**AN:Ok, so I made the characters more like their actual personalities rather than completely Ouran and I am also trying to fit as many pairings in here as I can so just go with it cause the pairings that look like they may happen may not.**

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Artemis was aware of Barbara coming out of the curtain behind her. The red head stared at her friend and followed her gaze to where Dick was sitting. "Who is that?" She asked.

Artemis looked to Barbara and then back to Dick. "Umm...I don't know." She lied easily and began walking towards Dick's table. "I should probably take his order though." She shrugged hoping Barbara would fall for it.

Barbara just nodded and went around to her own tables and Artemis approached Dick. "What are you doing here?" She asked with a fake smile on her face and trying to put as much venom into the words as possible.

"Oh, Artemis, hi. Fancy meeting you here." He gave her a wink and a smug smile, putting extra emphasis on her name.

She frowned. "How did you know my name?"

Dick's smirk only deepened as he looked down at the menu he was holding. "I always do a background check on everyone who has dealings with the Host Club members. Imagine my surprise when checking one of Bart and Jaime's classmates and finding that they had no record. As if they simply didn't exist. I did find an Artemis Crock though. I didn't put together that you were a girl until I saw you." He shrugged and continued skirting through the menu. "I have to say though. I never pictured you as the maid type."

Artemis frowned. This guy was more annoying than she originally thought."I never pictured you for the maid type either." She shrugged. "What can I get you?"

Dick only smiled and cocked his head to the side as if studding here. "Touché." He glanced back as his menu then up at her. "A coffee would be fine."

Artemis nodded and jot down his order on a slip of paper. She graced him with an overly friendly smile as was customary to give to customers. "It'll be right out." She told him before quickly walking away.

She didn't know what he was doing here or why he was here. All she knew was that for the entire time she worked, he never once took his eyes off her. This elected many joyful squeals of delight from Megan and many wistful sighs from Barbara.

Jade cornered Artemis at one point during her work shift. "Who's the prince over there?" She asked jerking her head in Dick's general direction. "Is he your boyfriend or something?" She sneered at her sister and taunted her. "He could probably do better since I'm assuming he's from your school."

Artemis resisted the urge to snap at her sister. She had to remember that at work, Jade was her boss and would treat her as such. One slip of the mouth and Artemis would be back to job hunting. "No. He's not my boyfriend." She said through clenched teeth. "He's just an acquaintance."

Jade looked like she didn't quite believe her, but shrugged anyway. "Well, tell your..._acquaintance _to stop staring at you. It's giving _me_ the creeps."

Artemis internally rolled her eyes, but told her she would anyway. She walked over to Dick's table and watched as he leaned back into his chair as she came closer. "My sister wants you to stop staring at me." She said neutrally.

Dick only cracked a smirk. "Of course." He said nonchalantly. He was up to something. Artemis could tell. "What? You gonna fall for me now?" He asked when he realized she was scrutinizing him.

Artemis scoffed. "As if." He was almost cocky as he was annoying. Almost. "When are you leaving anyway?" She asked him.

Dick just shrugged. "Whenever you do." He gave her what would be a pleasant smile that looked more evil to her.

"I leave when this place closes. You can't stay here until then."

"Why?" He asked trying to be innocent, but failing miserably.

"Because." Her voice coming out as a growl.

"Now Artemis," He told her in a matter of fact tone. "You must always be nice to your guests. Besides, the way I see it, you really can't kick me out." The way he said it almost made her not even ask.

"What do you mean?" She asked with suspicion.

"Well, certainly, as I'm sure you know, students from Ouran are forbidden to have any jobs outside of school sponsored ones. I just wonder what the board will think when they find out that their precious honor student got a job without their permission." He stirred his coffee around twice before his gaze settled on Artemis' pale face. "So I guess I'll be staying." He gave one last smile and Artemis turned around fuming.

So that was why he was still here. Blackmail. But why would someone like Dick Grayson need to blackmail someone like Artemis. It didn't make sense to her, yet. She was smart, she'll find out why eventually.

…...

She had gotten Dic to leave five minutes before closing time at Jade's suggestion (order). As she changed back into her normal clothes, her fellow employers and friends began gushing about the mysterious prince. Artemis rolled her eyes at this nickname. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing even remotely princely about him.

"Did you see his eyes?" Barbara asked Megan excitedly . "They were like a deep ocean blue."

Megan nodded. "And you could totally tell he works out." She sighed wistfully.

Jade rolled her eyes at them. "You guys are pathetic. He was obviously a total stalker. I mean he couldn't even keep his eye off of Artemis." She grabbed her jacket off the hook by the door. "He was probably undressing her with his eyes." She muttered under her breath.

This caused another round of squealing from Megan who turned and looked at her. "Yeah he was all over you. It's obvious you guys knew each other." She grabbed Artemis' hands in her own and began jumping up and down. "Tell me everything."

Artemis tore her hands out of Megan" grasp and frowned at Jade. "Thanks a lot." Jade seemed unfazed by this. "He's no one. He just goes to my school." She told Megan, grabbing her bag from her locker.

Jade shrugged on her coat and headed for the door. "I'm going out on a date tonight with Red." She quickly told Artemis and opened the door. "Don't wait up. Oh and your little friend is here." She walked out into the night as Artemis groaned. He was really waiting for her?

This only succeed in sending Megan into a new round of squealing. "Oh, he waited for you and everything. He totally likes you."

Artemis rolled her eyes and swatted at Megan. "He does not. He's probably collected more information for his creepy little club." And she headed out the door to find Dick.

"Hey." He said giving her a head nod. "Ready to go?"

Artemis was so tempted to punch him. "Ready to go my ass. You're not going anywhere with me."

Dick gave her a wounded puppy dog looked that she elected to ignore as she set off for her house. "But I'm interested to see just how a commoner lives." He pouted and followed her to the train station.

Artemis frowned. "Go away. I already have to deal with you tomorrow. I don't want to deal with you now." She could swear she heard whining noises behind her, but ignored those too. She stepped into the train station coughing a little and fighting off a chill. "I'll see you at school tomorrow. Okay?" She didn't really wait for an answer as she went to her train and headed home.

…..

She had a headache when she woke up the next day and decided to ignore it, taking two advils on her way out the door and noticing that Jade had not returned home last night. Figures.

As she walked into school in her usual ratty uniform she was surprised when both Bart and Jaime began talking to her in class. "Don't forget, you have to come to the host club after school today." Bart reminded her politely

"Yeah," Jaime agreed. "If you don't, the boss will flip." He smirked evilly. "That actually might be fun to see. On second thought you don't have to come." He shrugged.

Artemis nodded. "Yeah, well, I think its a better idea if I do go."

Bart and Jaime did the creepy twin thing again. "Suit yourself." They said in unison.

She smiled at them and coughed as the teacher began the class. She was definitely not looking forward to this after noon.

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******AN: So I hoped you liked it. Please review with favorite pairings or characters you hope to see in the story. Please know that there will probably be several pairing moments with different people. I hope to fit major pairings in it and less minor ones, but if you really wanna see them, I can try to fit them in so let me know :D**


	4. You're A Host

AN: Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. But I have a week until school starts and I'm joining field hockey, but I'll still try to update when I can

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Artemis entered the old music room not really knowing what to expect. She'd only been there once and hadn't been able to get a good look at the place with the members breathing down her neck. She was almost positive, however, that there had not been this many tables, chairs, and she didn't remember seeing any sofas. So, she was a little surprised to see that they were now dotted all over the place.

And with each table and sofa, was at least two girls. Some were casually talking and munching on orderves, others were just relaxing, and many were being entertained by the various hosts scattered about the room. Artemis sighed and sneezed into her arm. This was gonna be worse than hell.

Wally had stopped her before she entered the room the first time and asked her to grab them some coffee from the store. So, she scanned the room, her carrying a paper bag laden with various types of coffee, looking for the red head. She found him sitting on a couch with two girls. One was fawning over him, her face bright red. The other sat straight and looked only to be interested in Wally for talking. Though, if she was at the host club, Artemis figured that was not what she was really interested in.

She walked over to the chair with the intense feeling that she should run growing with every step she took towards the host 'king'. He smiled grandly at her and flipped a strand of red hair out of his face. "Thanks for doing the shopping, little piglet." He put his pointer finger up and waved it back and forth. "Did you get everything on our list?"

Artemis frowned. "What? Piglet?" She said aloud, more to herself than anyone else. She thought she was their 'dog'. Was piglet a promotion from that or a demotion?

Wally ignored her comment and reached in the bag, pulling out a tub of coffee and studying it in his hands. "Hey. Wait a minute. What is this?" He looked at her curiously.

She narrowed his eyes at him. "Just what it looks like. Its coffee." She thought it was pretty obvious. It even said coffee on the label.

Wally looked back to the coffee. His arm draped on the back of the couch as he stared at it. "I've never seen this brand before." He told her. "Is this the kind thats already ground?" He made it sound like it was an abnormality to have ground coffee.

Artemis' brows furrowed as she looked at him. "What do you mean? Its instant coffee." She said, still clutching the bag full of the same brand.

The girls who were sitting on the couch across from Wally cocked their heads confused. "Its...Instant?" They asked. Had these people never heard of instant coffee before?

Wally eyebrows rose and he took his arm off the back of the couch to look more closely at the container. "Woah. I've heard of this before. Its commoners'' coffee." His voice was laced with awe and Artemis had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. "You just add hot water." He added on.

A girl from the other couch spoke up and Artemis looked over to see that the number of girls had quadrupled. "I never knew that there was such a thing." The girl sitting next to her also spoke. "So its true. Poor people don't even have the time to ground their own coffee beans." All the girls standing behind them nodded in agreement.

Jaime, Bart, and Dick also appeared next to Artemis. Followed by more girls. "Hmm." Dick began. "Commoners are really smart." He stood straight and crossed his arms over his chest giving her a wink only she could see.

"Woah." Bart chirped from where he was leaning over the back of the sofa to get a better look. "One hundred grams for only three hundred yen?"

Jaime who was matching Bart, but on the other side of the sofa finished his thoughts for him. "Thats a lot less than we normally pay."

Artemis frowned. These people were so picky. "I'll go back and get something else. Excuse me for not buying you guys expensive coffee." She said sighing.

"No." Wally piped up from the couch and threw a hand in her general direction. "I'll keep it." Everyone's eyes widened in surprise and Wally stood up like he was about to make a proclamation ,which knowing him, he probably was. "I'm going to give it a try." Everyone gasped. "I will drink this coffee!" He declared and raised the container above his head. Everyone started clapping and Artemis felt like slapping her forehead.

Wally raised a hand to play off the feeling like it wasn't a big deal. Which it wasn't. Artemis drank this coffee everyday. "Alright, Art. Come over here and make some of this commoner's coffee."

Artemis sighed. She heated all these damn rich people. Making fun of her instant coffee. She coughed into the sleeve of her arm and was about to follow them over to a little station they had set up for to make it when the regal looking girl who had been sitting next to Wally spoke up. "Oh, Wally." She said with amusement. "Now you're taking the joke too far. You won't be able to stomach that crap. You don't have to drink it just because he bought it." She set her tea down on the table in front of her and looked up at Artemis with a fake smile. "I'm sorry. I was talking to myself."

Artemis' eyes widened a tiny bit as she looked at the girl. She was pretty, there was no doubt about that. She had black hair that reached her shoulders and brown eyes. "Uh...mmm." She didn't really know what to say to her. But it was obvious this girl didn't like her. Wally saved her from having to respond by calling her over to where he was. She sighed. "I'm coming."

She began preparing the coffee. First putting a spoon full of the coffee in a cup. Then she added to water to each cup. Once it was finished she put the cups on a tray and presented it to the group that was watching her. "Here."

Wally put his chin in between his thumb and pointer finger while closing his eyes. "Let the tasting begin." He told everyone opening his eyes and allowing the green irises to to sparkle.

The girls who had wanted to try it before were now apprehensive. "I'm a little scared to drink this stuff" One said. Another added her input as well. "I'm afraid if I drink this, my dad will get angry at me." Artemis' expression pinched for the slightest second before she wiped it clean again. This girl had no idea what a true father's anger looked like. And she'd probably never find out. She caught Dick looking at her strangely and promptly turned away.

She saw Wally holding a girl close to his face and giving her a flirtatious smile. "What if I let you drink it from my mouth." He asked her still holding her as the other girls squealed.

"Well then I'd drink it." She told him sounding star struck and Artemis rolled her eyes and coughed into her sleeve again.

Artemis looked up to see Jaime and Bart sitting at a table together with two girls. Jaime was laughing and Bart looked nervous. "Bart had this nightmare last night." Jaime told them. "It made him bolt up right outta bed."

Bart looked at his best friend, surprised. "Jaime! You promised not to tell anyone that. Why are you so mean to me?" He asked turning away from Jaime and letting a few tears leak out of his eyes.

Jaime sat up straight and his eyes widened. "I'm sorry Bart. You were just so adorable when it happened that I had to share it with everyone." The girls at the table just blushed and watched the interaction closely. "I'm sorry." Jaime finished taking Bart's face in his hands and bringing it a few inches away from his.

Bart looked a little dazed by the closeness of Jaime and his voice came out a little breathy. "I forgive you." He told Jaime, their noses almost touching.

The girls squealing and their faces turned bright red. "I've never seen brotherly-friend love quite like that!" They said to each other still squealing.

Artemis walked by carrying another tray of instant coffee. "What are they so excited about? I just don't get it." She said to herself.

It was then that Conner and Garfield entered. Garfield was riding on Conner's back and yawning widely. "Soorrryy." He said in a sleepy voice. "We're running late." He told the girls that had been waiting for them. They all greeted them. "I'm sorry." Garfield said again. "I was waiting for Conner to finish his boxing meeting and I fell asleep. And I'm still not completely awake." He rubbed his eye with the back of his hand, fighting off the tears he got from yawning.

All the girls gasped and went a little red, squirming in their seats. "So cute!" They yelled happily and started squealing as well.

Artemis watched this from a distance. All the girls seemed to do was squeal. She sneezed. "Is that boy really a third year student?" She asked to herself not expecting an answer.

Dick came up behind her with a hand in his pocket. "Garfield may seem young and childish, but he is a prodigy. And Conner's allure is his strong and silent disposition." He said carrying his, as Artemis had taken to calling it, little black book of death.

"Uhhh..."She really didn't know how to respond to that. And was actually surprised that he hadn't told anyone about her little secret yet.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked his voice only barely above a whisper. She glanced at him, but he kept his eyes on Conner and Garfield.

"Fine." She said shifting her posture. "Just allergies or something."

Dick looked like he was gonna say something else when Garfield ran up to her, calling out her name. He grabbed her arms and spun her around a few time as Dick just stood there and watched. "Hey Arty! Do you wanna go have some cake with me?" He asked his voice cheery and hopeful.

"Umm.." Artemis began trying to prevent herself from falling forward. Her headache was coming back and being dizzy did not help that either. "Thanks, but I don't really like cake." She told him.

This didn't seem to faze his cheerfulness however. "OK! Then how would you like to hold my monkey?" He asked smiling and held up a stuffed monkey.

Artemis shook her head out, trying to rid herself if the dizziness. "I'm not really into...monkeys."

Garfield pouted and held his monkey closer to Artemis. "Are you saying that Monkey isn't cute?"

Artemis looked at the stuffed monkey and her eyes widened. Its little tiny bead eyes seemed to be begging to be held and her resolution was wavering until it broke altogether. "I guess he is kind of cute huh?" She said looking at it a little more closely.

She watched at Garfield's eyes grew wide and he peered over the top of Monkey's head to look at her. Something like realization dawned on his face before it was quickly gone and he was sprinting away yelling at her to take good care of his monkey.

Dick spoke up from her side again, a small smirk on his face. "You'll notice that out club utilizes each man's unique characteristics to cater to the desires of our guests. Just so you know, if it wasn't obvious enough, Wally is number one around here. He's the king. His request rate is seventy percent."

Artemis watched as Wally flirted with each girl around him. "What is this world coming to?"

Dick ignored her comment and carried on. "And in order for you to pay off your debt." He told her glancing down at the black book of death. "You will act as the Ouran host club's dog. Until you graduate." He said this with a smile. "I'm sorry. I meant errand boy. You can try to run away if you want to, Artemis. But I'll have you know. My family employs a private police force of about one hundred officers." He pushed some hair out of his eyes and looked at her steadily. "By the way. Do you have a passport?" He looked back down at his black book.

Behind her she heard Wally. "You're gonna have to work hard to pay off your debt, my little nerd." He came closer to her and blew on her neck before she could turn around.

Artemis jumped away from Wally and turned around to face him. She put a hand on the back of her neck in case he attempted further attacks. "Please don't do that again."

Wally shrugged and stood up straight, closing his eyes and smiling like he was royalty. "You're going to need a makeover or no girl is gonna look twice at you."

Artemis rolled her eye. Some people were so dumb. "Yeah, well I'm not really trying to get girls to look at me." She told him plainly, howling Monkey with one arm and sloughing slightly.

Wally opened his eyes surprised. "Are you kidding me? Thats the most important thing." He told her, whipping a pink rose out of nowhere. He closed his eyes and put a hand to his chest while the other hand held out the rose. "You have to learn to be a gentleman and please the ladies." His eyes opened and he gave her a winning smile. "Like me."

Artemis sighed and coughed a little. "I just don't think its all that important." She told him and watched as he faltered the rose drooping slightly. He made a noise of surprise. "Why should I care about appearances and labels anyway?" She looked at him, but continued on. "All that matters is what's on the inside right? I don't even understand why you have a host club like this." She said looking back out across the room.

Wally sighed next to her. "Its a cruel reality, isn't it?" He said. Her little speech obviously went way over his head and she glared at him as he began yet another tirade. "Its not often god creates a perfect person like moi." He said flipping his red hair and hugging himself. "Both beautiful inside and out."

Artemis just watched him. Could someone honestly be this conceded and stupid. "Say what?"

Wally put on a look of pure suffering and rose petals started falling from the air. Where the hell did these things even come from? "I understand how you feel, since everyone is not as blessed as I am. But you must console yourself. Otherwise, how would you go on living?" The roses stopped falling and Wally put on a thinking face. "And think about this Artemis. Why do you think they put works of art in museums?" He asked pulling a bunch of poses that he probably thought looked poetic, but instead looked ridiculous. "Because beauty should be shared with the world! And those born beautiful should promote other beautiful things!"

Wally continues his speech and poses. There was a word to describe people like him. Artemis was sure of it, but she couldn't think of it at the moment. What was it? She thought for a minute, but couldn't think of it. She was only half aware of Bart and Jaime pausing behind her to watch the spectacle Wally was making.

Wally looked up at her excitedly and grabbed a glass from a table. "Heres a tip. When setting down your glass extend your pinky finger as a cushion." He told her and demonstrated with the glass. "And that way when you set it down you won't be making a lot of noise."

Artemis honestly couldn't think of the word and it was killing her. His attitude. His ridiculous speeches. His arrogance. What was this word? Maybe...a pain in the neck? No thats wasn't it. There was something that fitted him perfectly.

Wally came strutting over and stood next to her, putting his cheek on his fist. "...how effective a glance to the side can be."

Artemis opened her eyes and brought the fist that was holding her chin down to her hand. "I got it."

Wally smirked, no doubt feeling very full of himself. "Oh...did I strike a nerve?"

"Obnoxious." Artemis blurted out finally thinking of the word she wanted. Wally smile faded to a look of bad surprise and he huddled in a corner dejectedly. "Umm.. I'm sorry, Wally."

The two best friends came over from where they were standing and laughed. "You're a hero all right." Jaime said with a smirk. Bart made a noise of conformation.

He was a pain in the neck. "I'm sorry Wally. But your lesson did strike a small chord with me." Jaime and Bart looked at her surprised.

Wally stood up and spun around with flourish. "Really? Let me teach you more, my friend." He outstretched a hand to her and sparkled yet again. She had the feeling she was gonna regret this.

Artemis grimaced. "Well, he got over that quick."

Bart and Jaime looked at Wally a little concerned."Cuz?" Bart asked and Wally just wiggled his fingers. "Call me king!" He told them.

Bart rolled his eyes and continued his previous thoughts. "You can teach him all the basics of hosting..."

"But," Jaime continues for his best friend. "hes not going to get very far with the ladies if he doesn't look the part you know?" Jaime stepped around to the front of her. "Hes not exactly host club material, but.." He removed Artemis' glasses and peered down at her. "Maybe if we took off his glasses it would help." And his expression faltered. Bart came around the side to look at her too and both just stared at her wide eyed.

"Hey," Artemis complained. "I need those to see. I used to have contacts, but I lost them on the first day of school." She could make out a blurry Dick, Conner, and Garfield peering over the friends' shoulders.

Wally came running up and pushed Jaime and Bart out of the way to get a good look at her. He gasped and then looked down snapping his fingers too. "Jaime, Bart."

They appeared behind him and saluted. "Got it." they said in unison and grabbed Artemis' hands. They dragged her out of the room and she could just make out Wally telling Dick to get his hair stylist and Conner to get contacts.

The friends dragged Artemis to a separate room with several changing areas. They gave her a male uniform and told her to change. "What, but why?"

They both rolled their eyes and jumped on her. "Don't ask questions." They told her simultaneously and continues to chant change until she finally gave in.

"Fine. But you two have to get out." She kicked them out of her changing area. She quickly changed and heard the others enter the room. It was getting pretty late and she would have to go to work soon. She hoped they wouldn't keep her for much longer. "Umm...Wally?"

She heard him sigh from the other side of the curtain. "Aren't you done changing yet?"

She frowned and pulled back the curtain. "Are you really sure its ok for me to keep this uniform?" She stepped out and looked over to Wally who was clutching his face between his hands and blushing slightly.

Tears started to pour out of his eyes and he smiled at her. "Cute. You're as pretty as a girl! Adorable."

Garfield also piped up from where he was sitting at the table. "Arty, you look so cute!"

Artemis straightened her tie and Jaime also commented. "If we knew that was how you really looked.."

Bart finished for him again. "We would have helped you out sooner."

Dick smirked at her and winked again. "Who knows. Maybe he'll draw in some customers."

Artemis looked up to see Wally smirk. "You know? Thats just what I was thinking." Artemis inwardly scoffed. Bullcrap. "Our errand boy is moving up the ranks. Starting today you are an official member of the host club." She looked around the room and all the member watched her. "I will personally train you to be a first rate host." Wally continued. "If you can get one hundred customers to request your service, we will completely forget about your debt."

Artemis frowned. "A host?"

* * *

AN: Hoped you liked it! We'll get to see Artemis as a host next chapter and I think I might throw in some Dickbabs. Please review


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